Jingle bells, Santa smells?

Someone had better tell the neighbor girl that that rendition of the song will get her nothing but a whole load of giggles from me.

I've got a whole load of busy-ness on my hands and laundry from Vegas to wash and photos to upload.

Anyone willing to make bets on how long it takes me to post any photos?

I'm sorry, but who gave you permission to grow up?

Monday, in honor of Colombus Day.

Hot coffee, a snuggly blanket and Matt Lauer (on television, of course)..is there anything better?

Oh sure there is. But not today.

I'm at home feeling crappy and I will be doing the 'ol switcheroo of summer to fall/winter clothes as the weather turned on a dime and it is cold cold cold.

It rains, it pours, we get stuck inside and yell

So, the family and I have spent this entire day inside with one another. Sure, I love these people like crazy, but did someone say crazy?
Holy crap I'm ready to take a shot of something strong and go to bed already.
Someone pointing out all of my shortcomings within a 48 hour period has really gotten on my nerves and I fear myself saying something worse than what I've already spewed.
Going to bed seems to be the best option.
Because when I am asleep, what comes out of my mouth does not count.

I am not talking about a floating vessel

So it's taken me a few days to even type this one out.
We only had our sweet cat Canoe for six short months. Six months of watching him grow, making friends with the neighbors' four cats and their bunny, losing five collars, growing legs that would just walk right over our dogs, playing with the dogs like down and out tumbling and roughhousing, even Sherman grew attached to him, sleeping in the neighbor's bunny cage with the bunny, killing five birds in one week, nibbling elbows while we slept, sleeping in contorted ways, talking all the time.
Canoe got hit by a car Wednesday night, and it really wasn't at all like getting hit, it was like getting run over and having the teenage girl in the bronco slam on her brakes, skid four feet and drag parts of my kitty's body apart from him.
It was horrible.
We had to rush him to an animal ER and watch him SUFFER without parts of his body and the whole suffering part just killed me. I bawled. and then bawled some more and then was literally ill for 24 hours afterward. I think I was able to shield most of the damage from the girls. I flew like a wild banshee to get a towel to hold him together with and they didn't go back to the room until we said goodbye and he was covered so they wouldn't have to witness the carnage.
I can not get the image out of my head. And it still hurts.
S is asking for another cat already and I am not ready. It absolutely breaks my heart to watch animals suffer.
People, ie: teenagers, PLEASE SLOW DOWN. For the love of Canoe, please slow down when driving a car. There are children in residential neighborhoods and you may not be lucky enough to be spared by only killing my cat. You may actually hit a child.
There is nowhere THAT DAMN IMPORTANT for you to be driving to.

R.I.P. Canoe. I honestly think you were put on this earth to show someone that has previously had the cops called on her for speeding at least two times, that she could hit a child and she wouldn't be able to live with that.

My dog eats crayons

I sayeth to him:

"If you would like to have a poo in the house go to blame on someone else, it would be most helpful to not have it multicolored with crayon."

And I follow that last one up with....

I really love my husband.

I don't say that enough.

I can sure bitch and moan about people I work with and annoying driving habits of everyone, but myself, on the road. But I don't nearly spend enough time saying how much I love things.

The husband can surely get on my nerves at times, especially when I am lethally hungry, but for the majority of the time, I just watch him, doing what he does, and I. Love. Him.

I love my girls too. They keep doing the horrible growing up thing, but I continue to love them. I get adorable photos where I can catch them still looking like my babies, but I don't admit that to them, because if they knew that I could still catch them, then they'd make sure I didn't catch another one again.

My spunky B wanted (yes, wanted) to go on the scary carnie ferris-wheel last night and wanted to ride with her dad, and she was not scared for one second. S and I, on the otherhand, talked each other into riding together and held each other as close as one can hug one another on a rocking ferris-wheel without rocking it unnecessarily. We squealed together and when the ride stopped and then took us backwards S said "I don't know why I got on this thing!" and we both giggled nervously. B kept asking the husband if S was okay behind us and would even turn around to check on us. S and I barely moved. The mere thought of turning around made our stomachs hurt. Once we got off, we realized it was all good. We didn't die. The carnival ride held up to our wild ride. We are that much stronger now. A hurdle that we jumped with ease.

We got home far too late last night and we feel like we have a slight hangover, even though there was no booze involved. So we've been lounging around, playing with toys, doing laundry, watching really bad part two of the ongoing saga of the little orphan Annie. Oh, it's horrible. It's a good thing we only borrowed it from the library or we may have had to demand our money back.

It's been a breezy, overcast day with a few sprinkles and I adore weather like this. Too bad we feel like we've been beat, or we may be out on bikes or hiking. But, ah, one needs to lay around like a slug every once in a while, right?

Who's an ass?

Who, you ask?

Wait. You didn't ask.

In case anyone doesn't have one of their own or would like to know...

I know a real ass.

Bikes and School

We spent a good portion of the day in Salt Lake today to catch the professional leg of the 90 minute race for the Tour of Utah. It was really fun.
Photos do no justice of standing on the side of the road and just the sounds of the tires on pavement and the sound the wheels make as the riders whip past you.


The first day of school is tomorrow and my baby starts Kindergarten..someone pass the tissues now.


I'm actually pretty proud of this summer as we've subjected the girls to a lot of different things which, hopefully, made a few happy memories for their brains to hold on to...when they are teenagers and hate the world.

Who keeps tabs? or, Mama don't take my Google Reader away.

I swear, I can go months being able to access certain websites at work and then, ka-pow!, out of nowhere, I get blocked.

I used to be able to see bossy, and all my fellow blogspotter fiends, but then I got the "personal storage" blah blah is restricted by your blah blah and boo. sigh.

Well, then I got smarter than these genius IT freaks at my job and just set everyone up on Google Reader. This worked grand, with the exception of not being able to see the photos along with the stories. It was fun to imagine what some people may have had posted along with the daily story and then come home to actually see what they had up there was far different, and always better, than what my mind had conjured up.

Today, I log in to my gmail and hit the Reader tab and viola!, the moment of getting blocked.
BASTARDS
Internet blocking Nazi BASTARDS

They also blocked this messed-up site for adult content, ha! Geez, I wondered how long it would take to get them to figure that one out.

It was fun while it lasted, but I am really pissed about them taking my reader away.

Random bits of sunshine.

You would think that between the many motherly, and working duties I have, I would have enough time to update this thing.

Alas, I do not.

Damn you, sunshine, for slowly creeping out of my life for the next five months...leaving me to drive to work and back again in the dark cold of winter.

Damn you, good summer books, for sucking up any extra time I have and making me lounge around, snuggling up to the warm bodies of my children while they do extracurricular television watching, preparing their brains for the return of school in two short weeks.

I guess a damn you was a little harsh in that situation. You books are only encouraging me to lounge around. It also gives me a little time to myself to indulge in your fantasies while sitting around the swimming pool during the 4 weeks of lessons we've managed to fit in this year.

We had a cold front roll through Utah over the weekend (the warmth is back thank you) and it made me deliriously happy to feel a chill on my arms, to put on a hoodie, to wear jeans. But I also enjoy walking out of my freezing chilled office in the afternoon and feeling the warmth hit me and envelope me while I walk to my car...just enough of a walk that I enjoy the warmth and it takes the goosebumps I sported for the entire day away.

It is now time for a bit more reading before I feed the girls and haul them off for the last few days of swim lessons. I'm so proud, they're both like fishes.
Cute. Sassy. Multi-colored-swim-suited-fishes.

The husband has encouraged me to dig into the weight lifting exercise that I'm craving and I'm taking a one on one class with a cross fit trainer tomorrow.
Maybe I'll tune you in to the most sore of sore muscles the day after.
That is, if I can walk to the computer.

Two weeks?

It's been awhile since I've posted anything. Here.

Facebook manages to suck up an immense part of my time...dirty bastard that it is.

We took the girls to go see fireworks at Liberty park with their auntie and uncle last night and wow. Wow. Wow. WOW.
I have never seen me so many gangsta's in my existence on this earth.

There was one point where we were walking the four blocks or so to get there and we had some young ho's behind us talking up some "An she sai, 'I wuz on hiz bed bafor' and I sayz "oh ya, bit? I been on hiz bed SO many time before, she a fuuggin' ho ya'"
So we then purposely slowed down so their little ho's would pass us, and we caught up with them pretty quick as the three of them were stopped out on a cross street, primping in a parked car's windows and I have never laughed internally that hard. Even the lady walking in front of us turned and laughed like we were. It was so worth it. Even if we waited forever for the show to start and to only last 13 minutes.

I'm trying to remind myself that this particular fireworks show is not worth it to do it again any time soon. Like anytime in the next 15 years.

Well, I did one manic cleaning out of the cookbook/phonebook/storealltheothershit cabinet and now I must go figure out what I'm going to do with all the stuff that is on the floor surrounding the cabinet. Like, the trash. We have a babysitter coming because the husband and I have not had a date in forever and we want to eat sushi, by ourselves and go see an adult movie, Harry Potter, by ourselves and just enjoy the company of each other because I need reminding sometimes of how much I love this man I married without having to clench my teeth while my beautiful children tease, fight, howl, scream and whine in the background.

Seriously?

I am feeling this huge wave of jealousy. It is horrible and consuming.

I should be happy with what I have. Happy happy happy. I know that things may look good on the outside to other people, when inside they may just be shit. I want to believe this, but I'm not sure if it's really true. Just my psychoanalysis to make myself feel remotely better.

There has just been one friend of mine that I somehow let what goes on in their life get to me. I tend to compare and I need to STOP. We now lead two very different lives and we turned in those opposite directions a long time ago.

A long time ago.

How does one get over being jealous? And I would have to not talk it down and call it something else, because when all is said and done, it is pure jealousy.

Sucky, shitty jealousy.

Of what, exactly? I'm not completely sure.

I'll have to get back to you on that one.

Like growing Josh Brolin in a petri dish

Don't ask what I originally had said, but isn't it funny what some people "hear" when other people "say" something entirely different?

During Father's day dinner, my sister thought my mom had called my father a pimp. Sorry folks, but my mom had actually called him a vampire.
In the most loving way you could call your spouse a vampire, of course.

Can't talk. Reading.

I swear, I'm alive.

I've just been reading reading reading. And when I'm not sleeping, I'm reading.

I sure as hell am not sleeping much either.

The impending birthdays of my children have got me a little sappy sad as of late though.

I found an old photo of the two of them that's almost five years old and boy did it get me in sap-mom-mode.

I brought it to work to make life that much more unbearable.

They are also spending two nights this week over at my parents and that has got me just terrified.

Not that my parents can't handle two sweet girls, it's just that they won't be right here with me. Within arms reach.

Crazy how some times they can drive you completely bonkers and you tell them you can't wait to repeat their behavior on them when they are teenagers and then you want them super small babies, cuddly again. Like now.

No-Slip drawers

For some INSANE reason, the reason being I must have been high on glue when I signed up for these, I subscribed to Martha Stewart's "Daily Organizing Tip". (stupid)

And there have been plenty of times where I wanted to post her daily tip and say WHAT? YOU ORGANIZE WHAT? and why in the hell would I ever, if I ever even found the extra time, do this?

Today's tip came to me in an email titled, No-slip Drawers, and I thought,
"Is this a common problem with people, are people's drawers slipping"
(like, duh, falling off because they have no bum?)
No, no. Nothing practical like that because hello I have an almost five-year old who has a serious case of crack and could use something miraculous not including rainbow suspenders. Because I am slightly still in fear of some janitor at the court house who would find my missing badge and coming swangerling down the hall saying "Is CARRIE here? I found her baaadgeeee" all the while sporting some fabulous rainbow suspenders.
Ew
Ew
Eeeeew

So today, folks, we have this handy organizing tip.

June
12
FRIDAY



No-Slip Drawers
This artists' drawing-board liner has a slightly rubbery surface that keeps sharp implements stationary and wipes clean easily.
TODAY'S ORGANIZING TIP
Plus, This Week's Tips


This is for those of you who have enough room in your kitchen drawers that when you yank that sucker open to stab an intruder, you don't have to dig through random other kitchen utensils and you can grab whatever suffices for that moment in time.

Oy, just the sight of that gets my OCD shuddering because think of when they moved just a millimeter and they needed to be straightened and heaven forbid someone not line them up in their correct height order.
In fact, the third knife from the left is cockeyed to the right and making me twitch.

When is enough, enough?

Today, I came home to this.



Someone either forgot to shut the dogs in the bathroom this morning, or they have somehow figured out how to open closed doors. I really hope they haven't grown opposable thumbs.

We've also had a lot of this.



We live in Utah so this is very unusual for us. Sure we get rain here and there in the spring, early spring. But we are mere days away from the first day of summer and I almost forgot where I live and thought I may be vacationing up with my brother and sis, but no, sure enough, no dream, I'm still in Utah, bailing water out of my window wells.

In all honesty, I had to come in the computer room before I maimed the dog. Sherman.
SHERMAN!!

In Bloom

Bossy's post reminded me that, oh yeah, I have some of those.



They took a while to come into bloom this year and they always keep us guessing when indeed they will strike.




When we first bought our home, there were about 12 or so antique peony bushes that were the owner's grandmother's or something like that. But they were old, large and in the contract of selling the house, the deal was that they got to take all of the bushes with them. The husband and I did not care one little bit about this. (because we did not appreciate they full beauty of them when not in bloom, something we would fight tooth and nail to keep now) But luck be a lady these owners were just about as quick getting on top of things like we are, and they were in the middle of digging a few of the huge plants out when the husband came to rip out carpet on the day they were supposed to be out. So they took about six of those buggers and left us with the rest and they got so large and carniverous, that we've had to split and transplant them. We've even burnt and killed a few in the process of trying to exterminate some morning glory from hell and they come back from the dead to give us a beautiful two weeks (maybe) of their beautiful blooms.






As I've been cutting these and taking them to the neighbor's I think to myself, I would love to send a bundle of these up to my sister in Washington. So Kerry, the vase in the front room is specifically for you.

Snapping

I swear. Tonight is the lose it and snap sort of night.

My alarm goes off in less than 8 hours and I had to come downstairs to leave the nightly drama of little sassy S.

She has so much backtalk in her it is sickening.

And just between stupid facebook sucking me in and being beyond tired, making dinner late, children sassing the second I pick them up, the dog rolling in something horrid smelling, the cat bawling, the dogs barking, the perfect husband who never says or does anything wrong, returning overdue library books, bathing children AND the shitty smelling dog, and then fighting over the thousand rats nests that somehow wove themselves in long hair during S's shower and she screams at me when I try and help her do it an easier way and the cat on the shelves knocking a bunch of toys off and more dog barking and children sassing putting clean and immediately filling the dishwasher with dirties to run overnight and oy vey I still need to make lunches for tomorrow.

I'm ready to SNAP.

snapsnapsnapsnapsnap

I took a third of a muscle relaxer last night as my jaw is killing me and I honestly think it kicked in around 7:00 am... I was at my desk, makeshift sleeping. Left hand propping my head up in a believably awake position, right hand on the mouse, so as I sleep-jerked it would make the motions look that much more realistic.

So, apparently, if I want to wake up in the morning, I will not be able to take a muscle relaxer tonight.

Damn the luck.

Please. Stop. The Singing.

Rock of Ages

Who ever heard of it? Not I.

It's a day off from work, and where else would I be other than watching the Today show in hopes of a glimpse of Mattie-boy-Lauer.

And it's a day off from work, so hello, of course, he is not on today.

So I'm wandering around online, finding old, old boyfriends on facebook and on comes some horrific bit from Rock of Ages.

Even the dogs howled in desperation for their superior hearing had failed them during the Journey song.

Don't. Stop. Believing. OOH OOH OHOOOHAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! (frantic, loud, barking)

That hurts. (the husband, who is working in the other room just said "Wow. They are horrible") (They are killing some of his favorite butt-rock songs, I can imagine this is twice the pain for him)

And it goes on and on and on and on.

Tell me about it.

Baby it's hot inside

Dear Husband,

I would like to thank you for getting our sweet daughter's fed and ready for school this morning. Monday mornings are really hard...especially when the night before ends with gin and limeade before bed and your wife hitting the snooze button for 50 minutes in the morning.

Believe me, I had a rough morning...ie: the above comment.

Today hit 90+ degrees, which is quite toasty.

Before you left the house, you did many things. Packed your lunch, made sure the girls had their lunches in their bags, teeth brushed, dogs contained in the bathroom. I am proud of you and I probably don't tell you nearly enough how proud of you I really am. It is hard to get kids out of the house in the morning. It is hard to get oneself out of the house in the morning.

You only forgot two things this morning.

The cat was still outside.

That's okay, there was the water bucket with the remaining waterballoons left over from yesterday's escapades for him to drink.

You did not turn one of the five ceiling fans on.

The upstairs was only 84 warm degrees and the air conditioner should be able to handle three straight hours of running non-stop.

I think that due to the sheer warmness of the Monday evening, we will have to go out and get dinner somewhere as I am too sleepy to do much of anything else.

Love, Carrie.

P.S. I am starving, so please come home soon.

xoxo

Rainy weekend

So I haven't updated or posted photos in a while... Amber, hint hint....and the last four, out of five weekends have been rainy. At least that is what the weather dorks have told me.

We went camping over S's Spring break and it was beautiful. The first day we went out hiking, we forgot about, uhm yeah, the sun and it's effect on skin, so three of us got a little burnt, but not too bad. It's hard to remember that when it's only 65, it is still sunny and you can get burnt. (duhhh)





Sherman has been on a roll lately too. The woman we adopted our dogs from did mention that dacshunds will eat and eat and eat, and she was not joking. Sherman got into the basement a few months ago and chewed through a hung up target bag, pulled out a bag of marshmallows (strawberry ones no less) and ate all but about nine, large marshmallows. They he proceeded to blow up. He didn't explode, but we were waiting.



He also knocked off an entire heaping bowl of catfood that we prepared for the cat over the camping adventure, consumed it, and then we drove for 5 hours in the car. When we reached said camping spot, he drank a bowl of water like it was going out of style and we literally watched his stomach expand to the point of popping. I took him out for a potty break and he threw up. Ewwww. He does moan, like he is miserable, when he does this and I just giggle. I can't help myself.
Some animals never learn.

ahhhh, finally!

The weekend is finally upon us, Hooray!

We've done soccer, some laundry and I've already fit in a run.

It's warm, sunny and downright beautiful.

Weekends could not be any better for the soul.

grrrrr....job....grrrrr

I just deleted it....because, yeah, well, it's public....duh.

I'VE HAD IT. DONE.

The moments that make sense.

There is nothing better than the sound of your own children squealing and laughing.

They were outside early in the day before we set out for our Easter adventure, and the husband was spraying down the patio as we have some crazy dog that still thinks it is appropriate to defecate there....even though there is NO SNOW...and the girls were just squealing and laughing just with the thought that they might get sprayed. Which they didn't. I had gone into the house moments earlier and just the sound of their laughter, wafting into the house brought a smile on my face and in my heart that has stayed close with me throughout the day.

Thank goodness, as thoughts of divorce could have taken over the sweet-children thoughts quite easily if only given the chance.

Scooper

I just received an email that someone was offering to scoop poop for two dogs for $8 dollars a week.


DO YOU KNOW HOW TEMPTING THAT IS?

I won't splurge for a maid. But someone to scoop poop?

Bring it on!

P.S.
To all of you living outside the state of Utah....feel blessed that a large bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin roughly costs you $28.
In Utah it robs us of $40+

Here's a small shout-out to CS to bringing me back $150 dollars worth of booze from Vegas....
My sanity thanks you.

Taxes are FUN

The husband and I have been procrastinating in a bad way about starting our taxes this year.
We usually start them early enough that we know how much we are going to owe so it's not a two-week scramble to come up with an arseload of money.
Well, the above-mentioned husband has been doing a lot of freelance work as of late (yay!) and kept himself busy most of this Sunday holed up in the computer room. Since it decided to snow a good five inches this morning, and the thought of going out there was not even a thought, I took the only computer not hogged by a seven-year old or the husband and sat at the kitchen table and knocked them out.
Just entering our information into the new program we were using (ie: cheaper than turbotax) made me anxious and sweaty.
The numbers went down, the numbers went up, the numbers went up and down and then stayed at a somewhat decent amount owing. again. ooooowwwwiiiinnnnggggg.

Bastards.

I.R.S. government BASTARDS

The people I work with that have owed in years past were able to get themselves a refund this year, so I had a small, tiny amount of glorious hope that was quickly dashed as I updated each page.

At least it's not the higher amounts we've owed before.

We did get ourselves another cat. It was too lonely and quiet in the house without a talking cat. And boy is this new boy a talker. And a loud purrer..that is not a word. PURRER. ha

Canoe. That is his name. He came with the name Dino and we had to put our foot down on that one. I'm sorry, but we are not part of the Flintstone's and Dino was a dinosaur so the name could be fitting.

It did not fit the raccoon-marked Lemur that we adopted that has the longest, gangly legs and tail I've even seen on a cat.

If you've ever seen "That Darn Cat", Haley Mills' guy friend's name was Canoe. Nickname at least.

It took us a week to decide on the name, and we still go through the names that we were trying to get down to...Dewey, Georgie-Boy, Scout, Langston, George Washington ha.

The husband said since there is not a Desperate Housewives on, then he is going upstairs for a soak in the tub.
That means I will start on my bottle of wine earlier than normal.

Chloe-Bug

So we got the kitty blood test results this morning.

Not good at all.

The husband and I had to make a hard decision that left us crying most all morning, and on and off throughout the day.

S cried and cried and B doesn't understand it at all.

I went with my poor kitty girl and held her to me and rocked her and looked into her sweet green eyes and told her I was sorry and cried like a baby when they gave her to heaven.

Leaving with an empty cat carrier left me bawling in my car before I could compose myself in order to drive home.

She slept at my feet the entire night and I was aware of her even though she weighed hardly a thing at all.

Even though she's been gone for 5 & 1/2 hours, the house just does not feel right.

$191.60

I just got back from the vet, with the cat.

The cat, who normally follows me down the stairs in the morning, meowing *talking* to get some treats. Talking all morning. Nudging and talking. Drinking water out of a cup on the bathroom counter.

Yesterday she did not follow me down stairs. She didn't leave the bedroom until who knows when. When we got home she was on the floor next to her cat perch curled up in the bovine position. She let the dogs lick her ears and poke their wet noses on her head without hissing a fit. Very unlike the cat.

I took her upstairs and put her on my bed. She has not left our bedroom since.

Obviously something is wrong with her.

So, the softy that I am, made an appointment for her for today as I didn't want her suffering. (softy)

The prodded and poked her, took blood and gave a shot. They gave me some bland food for animals suffering stomach upsets and charged me one hundred ninety one dollars and sixty cents.

All I get from this is a call tomorrow to find out the results of the blood test(s), the hope that my cat will be just fine even though she is eleven years old and weighs 6 pounds, and the delightful smell of cat urine that is stuck in my nostrils because I've changed all of my clothing and scrubbed like a doctor pre-surgery up to my elbows. The urine that they needed for an analysis that I was hoping they would offer to hand-squeeze out of the towel she urinated on the drive to their office.

Man, I'm STARVING.

...she is still hanging on to this?

Seriously?

I am still bitching about Fridays?

I should have blogged last Friday when I was in a good mood. (for once)

We are attempting to do our taxes this weekend.

Won't that be a good time.

Little thumb sucker pushed me to the I-will-make-good-on-my-idle-threats moment yesterday.
She has been trying, just a little, to stop the thumb sucking. ONLY because she wants to go to Chuck-E-Cheese with her cousins next month. We have told her that we would take her there as soon as she stopped sucking her thumb. We didn't necessarily tell her that she wouldn't be able to go with her cousins, but she is assuming that is the trick, so we must play along....
But, she has started this hair twirling and sucking bit. I really don't want her to trade one bad habit for another substantially gross habit, so the husband and I have been telling her that if her hair keeps going in her mouth, then we would have to chop it off.

(No! No! I will stop sucking my hair! I want big hair) (yeah yeah)

She has twirled effing dreadlocks into her hair. Top that with some sucking and she has these strands of squirrel hair that are stuck in wacky-dried positions. Gross.

I know. I know. Some people could care LESS if their kid does gross things.
I AM NOT ONE OF THESE LAID BACK INDIVIDUALS.
I tend to be a little high-strung

So, after B ran away from the house as she was walking home after the school pickup last night, I went to go herd her home about ten minutes later....and when I find her she is bawling....just turned on the water-works because she knew she was supposed to be at home. Not running amuck through the neighborhood in the 30 degree weather without a coat on. (What kind of mother am I?) She also has hair in her mouth. Blubbering, telling me something unintelligible because there is HAIR IN HER MOUTH.

So, instead of going home after dropping S off at dance, we went to the hair cutting place and got her hair chopped off.
It's adorable. Absolutely adorable. It makes her look like my baby and a big girl all at the same time. Don't ask me how that works, it just does.

The lady cutting her hair asks her at the end.

Do you like your haircut?

No.

Do you like getting your haircut?

No.

Somber as a statue.

I got my caterpillers waxed while she started on B and the ladies sitting around her cooed about how sweet and quiet she was.
Oh. If those people could take a 30 minute trip to Ikea with this kid and a pencil, they would see the devil-child in action.

The long blonde curls on the floor were a little sad and I had to hold myself back THREE times from bending over and snatching up a handful. Like, where would I put them? In her "I was bad and got my hair chopped off book"?
I guess I shouldn't say bad, it's more like strong-willed to the point of making a mother scream.

Love the kid. Love her. Can't wait for a little cooperation. Can't wait for her to tell me the truth when she is eating treats and not "Crackers, mom. I'm eating crackers."

Odd

Fridays should rock. Fridays should have a person in that mode where they are a little light-spirited and feeling the urge to sing Barry Manilow songs.
Fridays lately, suck. SUCK SUCK SUCK
I get in a total, suck-arse-pissy-sassy mood and have to control myself as to keep myself from getting fired.
This mood usually only extends to the work day, and once I am home, I am fine. Happy to pick up my girls, talk about their day's adventures, walk the dogs, make dinner, fine.
The thing that sortof sucks is that I can't really voice out my reasoning(s) behind this mood as too many closely related people read this at times.
Just to give you a glance into how mildly sassy I can get, I IM'd a link to my boss today asking him if he has been reading the book How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.
He and I went from having a semi-quasi-okay relationship, and lately, he is just annoying. I flat out told him he drives me crazy. He has the moods of a woman, and when guys have those moods, well, it pisses me off, because I'm the only one allowed to be moody dammit.

I'm kidding, of course. There are a few, select, others who are allowed these moods.

I told him I was sick of the whispering, sick of the favoritism, sick of it all. And if I didn't have to be so damn thankful to have this job then I would be telling someone to SUCKit. Okay, I didn't say the suckit thing, but I did say the rest.

Sigh.

B is in the computer room replaying over and over some Ramones song.
Thank goodness it's a good song.
I had to stop her from dragging the speakers out of the room....she said she wanted to dance in the front room. I had to tell her that the speaker cords don't go that far.

She has become a working friend of iTunes. Didn't someone lock that computer? Oh, I guess she has figured out if she can fanagle her way onto the iMac before it locks, she can get into the music and still man the vinyl while it is password protected.......hmmmmmm, smart little stinker.

My posts aren't supposed to be a plain old rant, but I had to say goodbye to the food poisoning. Gawd, that was awful.

We are getting a second chance at another beautiful weekend, so we will not be splurging and eating out anywhere.
What are the odds that we hadn't eaten out anywhere for quite some time, and we go to stupid Carl's Jr, hankering for a cheeseburger and then get violently ill?

You show me an odd and I'll show you an oddity.

Down with the sickos

Three out of four of us have food poisoning. Hooray!
What else could one ask for on a beautiful, sunny, winters day when we could be out snowshoeing and enjoying some fresh air?

The husband and I worked out together yesterday via Jillian and he stumbled up to the kitchen to get something and complained about his calves hurting. I reminded him that we did Jillian yesterday... S says "I hope you didn't get sick from doing Jillian"
Husband "Oh, I didn't get sick from exercising but I hope I didn't get sick from doing Jillian"
I laughed, I thought it was funny. He thought I was being naughty.....me? naughty? never.

Well, I've extended myself by writing and I keep typing words like dick and dope because I must be weak.

Great!

I guess when the computer was reinstalled, iPhoto did not get reinstalled?

That's great.

It's also great that I had no idea how bad the husband's job really is.

Great. Nice. Neat.

He let a few things leak this weekend that have me feeling the ultimate pit of unsettlement in my gut.

Where is iPhoto so I can upload photos of headless my little pony's?

Find me a dirty boy

I really don't have much to say.

I've been ridiculously busy.

At work, at home, busy in my head most of the day...useless thoughts...When will I lose my job? Does B have any clean pajamas? Are the dogs snacking out of the cat pan? What's for dinner? What is on tv? What the HELL? Who can I find on facebook? Why won't Amber update her private blog already? Why can't I drink booze everydamnday and NOT gain weight? WHY? Where did my cursor go? Oh yeah, what about that job thing?

I swear. The husband's job sucks, who know how much longer I may have a job...Good times. GOOD TIMES.

Good economy. Good lord.

And that's it.

I'm thinking a lot of people out there are stuck in the same rut as myself.

One of those ball things with hair on it?

The husband and I just had a conversation about getting something to pull B's bangs back with....he is on his way home.

And he honestly says "One of those ball things with hairs on it"

What, in gawd's name is that supposed to be? I tried, desperately, to envision it, and came up with nothing. Nothing that should be put in anyone's hair on purpose.

Hairs?

And then he suggests a barrette with a Koosh on it.

Good hell, we don't need to add anymore chaos to the hair that's already going on up there.

B wants to grow her bangs out. I said:

Do you want it long, like S's?

No. I want it big, like S's.

You mean, long hair.

No. Big hair.

huuuhhhmmmm.

Do we have a future prom queen on our hands? Because we most certainly have a present day drama queen.

The girls were eating Fat Boys in a bowl last night because due to the size of said FB's, they can't seem to eat more than three bites before they fall on the floor for the dogs to consume.
Well, S managed to inhale a piece of chocolate and I whacked her on the back and she survived.

Not seconds later, B reaches over, picks up the piece of chocolate that was just lodged in S's throat, and eats it.

One call, that's all.

I've been at work for the past hour and have had one call.

I'm sure I'm only jinxing myself by making it known in written form.

I turned older yesterday and it was actually a really nice day. Bought myself some stuff, received some stuff, ate some stuff....tamales and ice cream. Yummmm.

My internet barriers are down at work, so I'm entertaining myself by going on facebook and checking out and , the two I can't see at work. I can read them via google reader, but cannot see the photos that go along with them.

Well, the bosses are arriving and my oatmeal is cold, so it's time to look the part of working for awhile.

edited to add that my links didn't work. WTH? I guess I'll have to work on that. Later.

You guys are going to kill yourselves

Words of Wisdom from a seven year old while her mom and dad attempt to dance to the "Expert" level on Dance Dance Revolution.

Yes, we suck. But, DAMN, we are breaking a sweat and laughing HARD.