Yawn

I've slept in the past how many mornings now.....

How am I ever going to get up for work tomorrow?

The husband has the entire next week off with the girls and all I'm asking is for him to get his $$$ camera out with its new $$$ lens and take some photos of our kids.

Tune in to see what happens.

The lake effect

When we get snow storms that blow directly from west to east of the Great Salt Lake, we get a lot of snow.....
It's been snowing all morning, and not little fluffs of snow either, big, fat flakes that made their way down the backs of a couple of girls who braved the outdoors a few hours ago.

The husband and I are waiting for it to stop before we even bother with the shoveling part.





And S told me that she wants to be a veterinarian when she grows up, which would be helpful now since Sherman is yelping whenever we move him like he is in deathly pain. Poor little guy.

Whoops

So I guess when the tag says "Dry Clean Only"

They really mean dry clean only. Sorry Mr. Chenille blanket.






The dogs love this blanket, which sits on the couch in the front room, where they also love to set their butts to bark like wild heathens at anything that walks past the window.

I had to shake it out in the backyard after it came out of the dryer, plugged up the lint catcher, and it seriously looked like it was snowing.

Oh well, at least it is now clean.

Might as well face it....

I'm addicted to M&M's.

I also lost a long-winded rant, hosted by me, about how M&M's are not spelled with an ampersand... & ... but they are M 'n M's... I ranted and raved I was right, dammit, SO right.

And then I went to the store and found out that I was SO wrong.

Damn.

I hate it when I am wrong.

Give me one weiner, give me two

Yes,

The EX hater of all dogs got herself another dog. His name is Sherman. He's in on the husband's lap right now with Charkie. They are adorable together except for the disturbing humping that Charkie is subjecting the poor fella to..... hopefully that will stop. Soon.







The shed is now done-enough-for-winter minus one door, which is in the garage and just needs to be hung. Not bad.
Not bad at all.

Seriously, I've been busy

I am such a drag lately. All of these fun-loving people doing Nablapopog-somethinglikethat and I'm not doing a thing.

I've been working hard at trying not to flip out every night after the sun descends and it's only 5:30, and trying not to snap at the kids for absolutely destroying the house with their toys and crafts and coats and shoes and socks and crayons and empty candy wrappers and the list goes on. It's like a landfill of things that will never, ever decompose and not nearly enough Zoloft to combat the mess.

I can say that the four-year old stage is taking me perilously close to the edge of insanity though.

B is killing me. Absolutely, menacingly, deliriously killing me. Slow and pain-like.

She is in to everything, her ears are on constant plugged mode, she is so naughty, and as sweet and loving as she is for about 5% of the time is not making up for the other 95% = hellish time.

I know five years is no cake walk, but I do remember it being a teensy bit better than four. Like being somewhat rational maybe 10% of the time.

The weather is beautiful in Utah. So very unlike November. I have walked at lunch every day this week and have just reveled in the sights and smells of an actual, real fall. Most of the time we go from ultra-wicked-hot, to one week of 70-60 degree weather and then BAM, it is full-fledged winter with snow, ice and freezing. I mean, my kids got warm in their fleecy halloween costumes this year. B was stripping off her top half of her cat costume. It reminded me of the first year we took S out. It was TWELVE degrees. Hideous!

The husband had received some unsettling news yesterday at work that has us worried. We are okay, but it's the type of news that hits too close and shows you how vunerable we are and how quickly we can be turned upside down. Okay, let me rephrase that. I am okay. I am not sure about the husband. He was upset about it last night. And it's kind of one of those things you just really don't want to talk about in the hopes that maybe the conversation won't have to come up again.

Time will tell.

The shed has a roof and is fully shingled. That husband and I make a good team, we really do, and it makes me smile to know this as a fact and how much fun we have had (along with the pains) in our home projects these past 10 years in this house.

He is making Gin and Tonics and he asked if there was tonic downstairs and I said yes. And then I said "I only want a splash of tonic" He repeated that in a utter disbelief sort of way. "Oh yes" I forgot to say "I want the remainder to be Club Soda"

I am watching those extra calories you know.

fancy myself, doing yardwork

Not much updating going on around here.

Just a lot of shed building, which, in turn, leads to me handling the fall yardwork.
It's honestly not too bad considering I let the husband purchase a Toro leaf blower. BUT, not only does it blow, but the lovely contraption also sucks. (and mulches)

So last week, I blew and sucked and mulched all the leaves in the backyard and yesterday I did it in the front yard. The kids and one neighbor kid were out there while I blew and they thoroughly enjoyed it. I blew leaves and them and they rolled around on the ground, yelled at me (the sucker's loud) to blow them in their faces, had me bury them in blown leaves. I laughed so hard, they were so funny.

And then I helped the husband lift 8 foot pieces of sheathing onto the roof of the shed and we actually got about 1/3 of the roof done in the dark. Woo-hoo!

We are aiming for the remaining of the wood to be on the roof, the drip edging installed and the tar paper/felting be nailed on by noon, so I had better get my butt and my coffee outside since we were being generous to the neighbors and thought we wouldn't start our noise until nine o'clock on this lovely sunday morning.

This is how we decorate in Utah

I love that my kids are so excited for Halloween.



We've had school programs



We've decorated the house



We've decorated the car



We've even decorated some random co-workers' desk



All in all, it's been a beautiful autumn



Just look at those lovely yellow leaves

Reality really does bite. And what is this word, *Brink*?

Do you ever feel like you are at the brink of going mad?

If one more thing gets added to your list of things to do for the day, week, month, year... you might just snap?

I have delightfully reached this milestone and thought I would share my joy and happiness with you while I am being interrupted by the husband who has yet, again, remarkably made it home late for the umpteenth time for the past five years.

Just when I am ready to just explode, S tells me that she needs a white, 3-ring binder for school all the while the girls are bouncing up and down, jabbering while I'm trying to eat dinner and the husband is teasing S who melts down because he took 2 inches of licorice from her mouth that she was dangling over his plate.

What I really want to do is go upstairs, give myself 20 minutes of heavy, heavy weight lifting, enough to bust out in pouring sweat, take a quick shower with Aveda calming shower gel, get into bed after dosing myself with some Unisom-like drug, a glass of wine and read until I pass out.

What I'm going to do in all reality is go play some princess game with the kids, get mocked, smacked, slobbered on by the dog, and annoyed to high hell and then finally get to bed, late, after the dishes are done, bags are packed, clothes are picked out for school tommorw and all the other millions of things I need to get done.

How square is your shed?

I am again, hiding, in the computer room.

This time it is hiding from the husband.

We started the base of a shed last weekend, because we are having abnormally wonderful Utah weather, and we don't want to spend $4,000 for someone to come build a shed for us.

So instead, we are spending less money for us to possibly rip each other's throats out in arguments about the need for the floor to be absolutely, perfectly, I will take this floor apart until I get it right, square.

He has honestly, taken the floor apart, at least four times now.

I am the type of person where I'm like, hey, if it's a half an inch off, we can put some shims in there since it is the only thing off at this point. Nail that plywood in and let's be DONE with the base already.

S just came in here and said shit. What?
She thinks she's being funny lately by throwing a damn or hell or shit in her sentences.....and seeing if she can get away with it without a parent noticing.

Yeah, I noticed. Thanks for playing, we'll see you later after you've spent some time in your room.

We stopped at Petsmart after soccer to get a toothbrush for the dogs heinous breath and all the foster animals were coming in..... oh my... There was a grey and white, adult male cat, by the name of Dwight. I immediately fell in love with his bright blue eyes and his little card that said he was a lap cat. I desperately want to go back and get him.

That'll put the shed-building-husband in a fantastic mood.

The barf chronicles

I have to admit, I am not sad to be home today. Not sad to not be sitting at my desk trying desperately to act like I am working when I would, most definitely, be sleeping.

B has a tummy issue.

She is curled up on the couch with the estatic-to-have-a-warm-bum-to-sleep-with, dog, watching various cartoons.

I had a hard enough time sleeping without the barfing child last night, so when she woke up around two-ish this morning, I said goodbye to my attempts at sleeping.

I have found that I can sleep through many things lately....the dog, whimpering and scratching from the inside of S's room, the husband, getting up in the middle of the night to shut windows, let said dog out, and also him going outside in the pouring rain to put an extension tube on the downspout. Yep, I sleep through all of that. But, the second I hear one of my children, it is mommy radar on extreme sensitive mode.

B was sick that once, and I assumed it was from her voracious eating throughout the day, and she was sweet enough to talk me into letting her into our bed. A four-year old in a queen-sized bed with two adults is really not the best recipe for sleep. I swear, when I thought she was asleep, she would stretch an arm out and rest it on my chin. And the husband was sweet enough to let her share my half of the bed. Not that he was getting any sleep either, but at least he wasn't giving up any of his space.
We spent about an hour of doing the bed sheet share a pillow tango and she was whisked off to her own bed.

She came back in a while later, not sure how later, but I had just finally fallen off to sleep and was dreaming about forgetting to bring something to work.. ? Or maybe it was something about my refrigerator...yeah, dreams, highly overrated.
There was some complaining about an ear hurting, husband finds tylenol, administers tylenol, tylenol immediately comes back up, the mother groggily remembers there is some sort of ear drop remedy somewhere...gets kid back in bed, drops in the ear gunk, actually finds ear gunk whilst half asleep, mumbles something like she will stay home with sweet B, sets alarm for the husband and falls back in bed.

So, here I am. B is saying her tummy hurts right now, and I'm trying, to get her to eat some Saltines. She will not eat the Saltines, she wants nuts.

I have to go to work tomorrow and the next day for some continuing education classes to keep my insurance license up to date. Yawn.
BIG YAWN.
Thank goodness there will be some fun people going with me so I can pass notes and giggle to keep amused and possibly stay awake.

The husband gets to try the dance practice shuffle tomorrow night, so tune in to see how it goes.

Sunday, bloody Sunday

So, soccer was cancelled (give me a yay!) and it snowed.
So I'm going to post some photos.

We'll start with two weekends ago, when it was warmer than normal and we took some photos up Bountiful canyon. We had little cooperation, but were able to get some good photos.







The dog cooperated pretty well, especially when we figured out that we can put him on a picnic table, and he can't get off.



And then, today, it snowed.

Soccer, and the story of trying to get out of going.

Please, someone tell our rain to get here before 9:00 am tomorrow.

It's been cold , 48 degrees for our high, and we are supposed to get snow by tomorrow night.

That means that it will be delightfully freezing tomorrow morning for someones soccer game and I do not want to go.

I want to stay snuggled, in my new bamboo sheets and super-soft comforter, in bed and slowly make my way out of it, make coffee, sit around and snuggle with kids and a smelly dog.

It rained and was about 50 when S had her game last Saturday. That was not fun either. Her team played so good though. But the thought of going tomorrow just makes me cringe, and I may just feel a cold coming on.

I'd better not jinx myself, it is that season.

Let the weekend, and my newly purchased case of wine, begin!

Lazy Sunday

Look at me, posting a photo. ha ha

I could post more, but it looks like the only current thing on iPhoto are the photos I just uploaded from my camera. After we copied everything off the old computer, everything else is saved on the external hard drive or copied to DVD's. Oh well. I certainly don't have that sort of time on my hands.

This was S's first day of school. B had been back in school for a few weeks at this point.

BUT. Better late than never, right?

I really had to come on here to clear my memory card since we are going up into the mountains and might have some good photo ops.

Completely baffled

I did the take the kids to dance fiasco tonight, and I must say, I'm getting better at it.

I take the first one a little before 4:30, she puts her adorable ballet slippers on, she lets me leave after a smoochy four-year old kiss, I go back to the car where the seven-year old waits, we do her homework...lots of math this year so far, she reads, I read, I send her in about 4:50.

I rush home like a mad-woman, already have work-out clothes on the DVD is on and waiting, I do 25 minutes of Jilliankickingmyass, rush back, pick up B. Depending on how motivated I have been, I either sit with her in the car and look through books together, or we go to Arby's and get 5 for $5.95. I actually cut a pork loin and put it in marinade the other night and I did a fantastic juggling job of grilling kabobs and showering children at the same time.

Damn. Sometimes I am good.

The real reason I am on here tonight is because of the baffling mess of the presidential election. The husband tuned me in to a Katie Couric interview with Caribou Barbie (as my uncle pleasantly referred to her as earlier today) Palin so we watched it on youtube via the AppleTV. We then looked for Letterman's lack of interview last night and I am just amazed. Baffled, disturbed, horribly scared of what might happen if those two people get elected to office. Auuurrrrggghhh.

I have been in ongoing debates at work, and it either seems that people are just not voting, voting for McCain because he's a Republican, and I live in one of the reddest states in the country, so it is discouraging trying to talk to people who don't want to even listen. I'm not sure if it's a religion thing. OKAY! It IS a religion thing, and I just do not get it. I guess I never will. I am a complete 180 from my parent's that sometimes if I didn't look like my father, I would wonder where the hell I actually came from.

My boss forewarned a co-worker on his way in to work this afternoon, to watch out for me, because I was on one.

So I left him a message on his dry-erase board in his office. ha ha

I am very much looking forward to the debate tomorrow night. I should get off my duff and reply to my Obama emails and set-up a debate watching party in my area.

Gin, Tonic and fresh salsa anyone?

Punishment

I am a complete glutton for punishment.

I sit here, somewhat hiding, in the computer room while my darling children cry and fight and howl and disembowel the sofa of its cushions and I think to myself why. Why do I even bother?

Why do i set myself up for something that is just going to piss me off?

I signed them up for dance classes tonight, and the way the times are set up, I'm going to spend my Tuesdays and Thursdays just shuffling kids to dance lessons. Ugh.

And then are completely rotten right now. They are tired, tired, and mad at me for not looking for the television remotes. Instead, I go out and find the cushions off the sofa and they cry when I said I'm done looking.

So S is spewing her normal tiredness crap at me and I'm sick of it all.

The husband is going to be late.

I'm off to get their princess meltdowns to bed before I scream.

Sweetness

A wonderful man, being my husband, came home tonight with my *fixed* shirt from Banana Republic and I look in the bag for my shirt, and there is a new iPod. 120G...yay!

My old, 20G crapped out on me a few months ago and I oh so miss it. Especially at work when I'm desperately trying to tune the people out around me. I had it for over three years, and we tried to fix it...new battery...but couldn't even get it to turn on. You could just hear the harddrive kick up and turn over and over and not ever turn all the way on. So it would finally die and give you a said iPod icon and/or a folder. Poor thing.

The husband went to get me one the other night, with a big fat hint from me, and he came home saying they had already sold out of them (just announced that day) but got himself a touch. Damn, that thing is cool. So I was a little bummed out for a few days. But now I wait patiently for 3,500 songs to sync on my "Number 2". That is what I named it. ha.

I may even put some episodes of Gossip Girl and the Sarah Silverman Show on there....when it gets slow at work. :)

And, of course, some photos of the fam. As soon as the husband shows me where the correct cord is on this new Mac, I will upload some new photos since my memory card is full of dogs and beach-butt-crack shots.

the day after....

After my muscle-relaxed-induced sleep last night, I hit the snooze button a mere five times this morning.

ie: waking up 45 minutes late = one late mofo.


zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Question for the day:

How long is too long to deal with a nagging, throwyoudownonthefloorwhileyoutrynottothrowupandyoureyesrunnethoverandyougetblotchy, cough?

A: Six weeks?
B: Ten?
C: For Hell's sake lady, get your ass to the doctor already?

(And if you choose option C, then I need an idea of just HOW to get in to see the doctor when he is booked three weeks out.)

Thanks for playing!

Beat me with an ugly stick

Yes, I know. I think somewhere in the past little while I have said I would post photos.

I haven't done it yet.

HA HA

I have nothing better than a muscle-relaxer-induced night ahead of me, so I'm going to bed. I can't upload photos in my condition.

Death by Potato

I was trying to put myself to sleep last night while writing an entry in my head.

That seems to sum up how hilarious I am if I can put my own self to sleep by doing this.

In other news. I found the object of death that was in my garage. I hadn't mentioned it before, because, hey, I had such more important things to talk about, like my expertise parenting skills.

Remember this? It seems a few weeks ago that this smell had somehow creeped back into my life. I was careful to turn the A/C and any vent-air-blowing off in my car before I pulled into the garage and would shuffle everyone madly into the house before the smell had a chance to permeate into my nose hairs.

We would rush out into the garage and exclaim how deathly it smelled, and "what died out here? It has to be a rodent."

I managed to get a few wild hairs this weekend and organized and cleaned up the girls' bedrooms AND cleaned out my car. While I was dragging the vacuum cleaner to the passenger side of my car...the stronger smelling death side of the car, I found a bag of potatoes. A bag of potatoes that apparently died. I knew they could horrify me when they sprouted eyes and ears and shit, but to actually die? Oh yes, they died. They died right next to the empty hamster cage no less. It was fitting to see that the same smell could eminate from the same area. Hamster/Potato...they are about the same size and color. And who knew they could produce the same smell?

I cleaned it all up, while holding back the acid burn in my throat and gagging. Oy, it was nasty.

Homework is done, my kids are playing nicely so it's time for a walk.

And then I get to go on another computer that has firefox installed so I can try and be tricky with some shortcuts that Safari utterly SUCKS at.

Doing a bang-up job

School is back in session. New pencils have been purchased from an extravagant splurge at the Hello Kitty Store. The non-grubby clothes have resurfaced for the wearing. There is homework to be done.

We went to back-to-school-night on Tuesday.

Sat around, listened to PTA people spew their PTA-stuff, went to S's classroom, met her teacher, got a run-down of what they are doing blah blah, please sign up and volunteer..I need two volunteer's a day. (WHA?) Yeah, I'll get back to you on that one.

I did sign up to volunteer for home projects I can do to help the teacher out and the Halloween party, so don't count me out as a complete slacker.

I gazed up on the wall at what looked like a little project the kid's had done in class with thumb-prints (awwww) that were made into faces. Happy, Sad and Angry faces.

S's went a little something like this:

Happy Thumb Print: I am happy when my sister shares with me.
Sad Thumb Print: I am sad when my mom yells at me.
Angry Thumb Print: I really don't know or remember what this one said, but I'm quite certain it didn't reference me.

Good hell.
I did a quick glance at the other kids' thumbprints and saw no mention of their mom's.

AURGH!

So it is now known to, at least S's teacher and whatever other parent's that check out the penmanship of their child's peers (like me) at how great of a job I am doing and the lasting effects I have on my kid. Geez.

She does have fantastic penmanship. I am so proud.

Why?

Why is it that I absolutely, try as hard as I might, can not open the Macaroni and Cheese blue box by pushing in the side (where is says PUSH) so I can pull back the top?

I can't.

Boy, it frustrates the shit out of me.

I must have weak fingers.

Excuse me

while I drool a little.

New, fast computers are so much fun.

Especially when you get two, so there is no hogging.

I got nothin'

Nothing at all. No luck in the non-thumb-suckage, no luck in getting a good night's sleep, no motivation, no fitting non-snuglike in my pants, nada.

I left work at one today for a good nap. My room felt like it was about 90 degrees and the dog snuggled his warm arse right up next to me to nudge the heat up just a few more degrees.

I have an annoying cough, and just felt like crap today and came home and slept like the dead for a few hours, with the exception of the few coughing attacks I had that jarred me awake.

Picked up the kids and took them to swim lessons. They loved it and are doing a great job at trying to be friends with the water. B was dunking her entire head and pushing herself off the side and kicking her legs. S was doing the same, and she is the one that took the longest to make friends with said water. The first kid always seems to have more of a disadvantage in learning some new things. When you have an older sibling to look up to, you sure do a lot of things a lot sooner than the first.

The days are noticablly getting shorter, which bums me out, I have really enjoyed our summer. We've only have a few days in the 100's, unlike last year when we had an entire summer of record breaking high temps. This is much better and bearable. Public school starts in two weeks and S is going to school with B this week as our babysitter is gone. She loves it. Asked if she could go there for school instead. I said we need to try 2nd grade out in public school and see if she is challenged, and go from there.

Affording two private school tuitions would suck a lot of $$ from our budget. Our budget needs to pay for two, new Mac's that are on their way.

Smurf it all

There seems to be a pattern here.

A television-watching pattern.

Okay. Okay. It's the only way that I can get 23 minutes of peace and quiet and less "Moom, look at ________ " (Insert anything there. anything )

Tonight's menu: Smurfs. Just in case you didn't remember, if you listen closely, you just might hear Gargamel's rage.

I never realized how often they replace an adjective with "Smurf".

That's a Smurfingly Smurf storm Smurfing our way!
Oh Smurf is me!
There are times, Clumsy, when you Smurf my patience.

Okay, I made that first one up, but sometimes, I swear...I just swear.

Smurfette is currently wearing rose-colored glasses and is seeing Gargamel as someone handsome and lovely and I think he looks a lot like Bruce Campbell. A cartoon Bruce Campbell. Ha!

Well, enough of the play by play of my cartoon life.

Work is boring and I have zero motivation. None whatsoever. I've been sitting, listening to the Twilight series audio books and what I read and enjoyed last year or so is now annoying the hell out of me and my listening to it.
Either it's the realization that the main character whines and complains NON-STOP or the fact that the reader of said stories is also annoying as hell and I do not enjoy her rendition of the books.
I was so bugged this morning that I did some fast forwarding. "Whine. Click. Whine. Click."
I IM'd a friend and asked her when Edward came back in the second book because I'm sick and tired of all the wo is me.

I just finished The Tea Rose by Jennifer Donnelly and really enjoyed it. Went to the library to find book two as it is a trilogy. Yeah, right. No such luck there.

I will be biding my time at work tomorrow, ordering a few reads from Amazon. That is one of the only places I can go online without being blocked.

Took the kids to the dentist Monday and the thumb sucker's JAW is being repositioned due to the thumb sucking.

SIGH

Her teeth aren't doing anything, but her jaw, of all things, is. Help me.
I really need an intervention involving her and her thumb. I don't want it to involve taking away her blanket or shaving her head...since the blanket and her hair immediately send the thumb into her mouth.

Give me three months

and I'll give you three birthday's. And that is only within my four-peopled family. The extended family is nuts in the summer.

Four years ago today, I gave birth to my baby B. She had a full head of highlighted blonde hair that honestly looked like she had a wig. She had full eyebrows and thick eyelashes. She came into the world with eyes open, looking serenely at the doctor who made it for the last push. B.K.L.M. Yes, her mother is still the nut who delivers two middle names.

She has had a full two days of family parties, sleepovers, hours at the waterpark, not enough sleep, lots of wild fun, dinner, cake, ice-cream cones and a new scooter and bike. (amongst other various toys galore)

She is my joy and I am sad to see her grow up. I like to watch her sleep when I check in on her before I hit the sack. She has this pouty look to her and I think it's because her lips are frozen in *I just took my thumb out of my mouth* mode.

She is so determined and can be such a pest, but at the same time does the cutest things and has the cutest ways.

She calls herself Baby Cat and if she's awake and alert when I say good morning to her, she will always do a little *meow* for me and give me kisses.

Four.

Happy Birthday, Baby Cat. Stay as spunky as you are now, for someday you are destined to use that personality in your everyday life.

Another dose of Doo

Scooby Doo remains king in my house.

We are getting ready to go pick up some doo-decor for someones upcoming fourth birthday. And how better to get in the mood than an episode of "Krazy Kook from Outer Space" from Season one? Circa 1969.

I loved this stuff as a kid and am so grateful to Mr. Apple TV and his ability to give me the option of buying all sorts of old Television shows online to store on the computer to play over and over for hours on end.

I went and saw Mr. Attorney this afternoon, registered my car and put a check in the bank. The husband joked with me, "You deposited it? You're not going to let it sit for months attached to the calendar?"

That is normally what happens to our checks. There are some mortgage escrow returns and birthday checks, the stimulus check and dentist appointment reminders. They stay up there until we make a trip to the actual bank.

Let me preface this with "I most certainly did not win the lottery, but I didn't feel comfortable with a check like that just hanging around my kitchen in hopes of getting lost or better yet, thrown away. (just like the title to the 4-Runner)

Oy, the Doo is done and we are leaving.

How come a ghost from outer space keeps ham and chicken around?

Wouldn't we all like to know the answer to that question?

Another question I, personally, would like to know is "What is the deal with bangs?"

All of a sudden, at work, it has become quite the rage.
Now believe me when I say, that these are people who are just catching on to bangs when they were made cool in the 70's. That is how far behind the city is that my work is located in.

Don't be jealous now.

People who have no style, none I tell you, have decided to get some bangs introduced into their daily hairstyle of doing nothing to their hair.

They then proceed to talk about it. "I was told by my super-hot sister in law that she thought my bangs were cute and she got them too" what was not mentioned was "I didn't get my grays covered or my mustache waxed, but gol durn it, I got me some bangs"

Then another girl got them and she said later that she cried when she first looked in the mirror. I'm not sure if the crying was due to the bang introdcution or the sheer wrongness of the red color that was attached to her hair folicles.

Keep in mind, I am no hair genius. No no. I am a curly-haired freak who is just one hair gel bottle away from a wicked fro, so there is not much change-up in my daily hair routine.
I also think that some people look perfectly delightful with bangs, so don't get me wrong by any means. There are just some people who should not be talking about style. NOT when these people are still wearing dresses/muu-muu's from the 80's.

I turned around to a co-worker and asked her how she thought I would look with bangs. Oh boy, just the look on her face and my fit of giggles summed it up into a big, fat NO. Oh hell no.

Well, my children have most likely spent the past eight hours watching Scooby Doo with the babysitter and seem a little strung out. So I must try and do some wearing out. It's either that or scream at them to stop jumping on the couch, and my lips would much rather be wrapped around the rim of a cold drink, so we'll go outside for a while.

And where could my futon mattress be?

Oh yes, it is still in the bed of the truck.

Let's hope no wasps have taken up residence on/in/around it.

Someone received a very thin envelope from the IRS in the mail today....in the form of a fabulous stimulus check.

I have been stimulated.

Both girls are tired and bundled up in blankets on the couch, lounging into the beginning of the weekend.

I had all intentions of going upstairs to work out, so far, I have not felt that urge.
Ugh, I need some damn motivation.

And what better motivation do I have than the fact that I'm going to be on a waterfront lake in a few short days, most likely in a bikini, to motivate my ass upstairs? Well, there is no better motivation than that and yet, I still sit on this couch.

What's for breakfast?

Oh my.... It's after ten am, and S and I have just rambled out of bed. Oy.

That's what going to the drive in will do to you....especially when a kid's cartoon ends at 11:30 and deposits you at home at midnight. zzzzzzzz

B is still asleep and somehow the husband got up at 7:30 to go for a long bike ride.

Firefox is messed up on the computer due to some *children* who mess on the computer too often....so Safari and all it's non-greatness will not let me use control options to optimize my blogging session with italics and the like. For shame.

S is standing next to me, correcting my bad typing skills, (sorry, bad keyboard that I'm not used to) and asking why I don't type her name out on this thing. So after a brief explanation, she says that's okay, because when you type her name out, spell-check never recognizes it anyway and puts a red squiggly line underneath it. And she doesn't like that. So we typed all our names out, and both the children get the red squigglys.

Poor kids.

It's Sunday. Time to finish up the laundry and put the futon mattress away from the bed of the truck and all the pillows and blankets.

Finally, the moment, uh, stimulus check, I've been waiting for

Ah, it's a long weekend, it's hot, still, and I'm home a little early from work.
The children are tired, but happy and we've dragged all the toys, bathing suits and extra clothes from the babysitter's into the house.
I've picked up the mail and what? What could this envelope be?
It is labeled from the IRS, but it is a very thick envelope.

Oy!

I'm thinking there is not going to be a check in here.

I open it, scan it very briefly.....very very briefly, shove it back where it came from and head upstairs to put something less hot and work-like on for the reading of this.
Hell, if I were smart, I'd put some Gin on Ice before I read this.

We could have received our stimulus check starting May 19th and have yet to see or hear word about a thing. So now with this thick ol envelope, my hopes are dashed, I'm thinking *AUDIT* and I'm scared.

With my shorts and tank-top on I read the letter...Dear R and C blah blah, enclosed is blah blah and please read the next page to see what we need from you blah blah and if you don't send what we need, we will either determine if you owe us, more, or if we need to minimize your return (uh, what return thank you).

So I read the second, long page, and at the end it says that WE DID NOT SIGN OUR RETURN and we NEED TO SIGN THE RETURN in order for them to send us a check (within 6-8 weeks of whenever the hell they decide whatnot) because I'm not sure if it says they will even send a check.

Yeah.

Here is what gets me:
Number 1:
We filed electronically via TurboTax in April. This has never been an issue before...the electronic signing of said tax return.

Number 2:
They were sure quick as hell to CASH THE LARGE SUM ON THE CHECK(S) WE MAILED THEM without our SIGNATURE accompanying our return. That sure didn't pose a problem to them.

Annoyance.

I guess I was already to the point that IF I saw a mysterious stimulus check get mailed to us, I would figure, hooray, a bonus to us and let's pay off the couch. And if not, then, screw them.

Well, bring on the long weekend. We did neighborhood fireworks last night and stayed out too late, we're doing the drive-in tonight...perfect weather for that kind of thing. Parade (maybe) tomorrow and evening fireworks and hopefully a trip to Banana Republic to check out their summer sale.

Whaa?

Wait a second...

Two weeks ago I didn't go running in the AM hours because it was 38 degrees?

Friends, it is exactly 100 degrees right now.

Steamy.

I have a kid and a dog snuggled up next to me with a blanket.

Oh yeah baby, one hundred.

Never enough time

Remember the days when people would take their film out of their cameras and get actual prints made?
Some crafty people even print out their digital photos.
Even craftier, some people upload photos to their computers and/or photobucketish sites and post photos on the internet.
Wow.

I want you to imagine someone who takes their camera everywhere with them, as long as this person has her purse, and takes photos of all sorts of things: delicious looking cheeseburgers that a fellow employee is getting ready to eat, children (her own children usually), dogs, cats, potato bugs, chicken pox, people with silly outfits/hair-do's, other employees doing random acts of crazies (giving her the finger whilst taking birthday decorations down) and videos of her children doing cute dancing and employees killing wasps. I have been known to get crazy and take photos of illegally jacked up redneck trucks, while driving, and the first gas station I saw with the gas over the $4.00 mark.

BUT. This is where it ends. I take the camera, and show people my weekend meanderings and wanderings and "Could this truck possiblybe jacked up any higher". And then sometimes I even upload the photos once there are too many on there and not much to erase.

But, I'm sorry. You will have to imagine the rest of what I have described, because as soon as I possibly find any extra time in my life, I will spend that time getting a few more minutes of sleep, and not posting photos.

Maybe in the winter when I have nothing better to do.

Right?

Happy Birthday Peanut

Seven years ago, I gave birth, at the un-godly hour of 2:40 am, to a beautiful, 5 1b 15 ounce, baby girl named S.

Now what kind of crazy parent names their child S? Better yet, her full name is S.A.R.M. That's right, folks. Two middle names. Poor kid.

She is the light of my life. She has sparkling blue eyes, beautiful soft highlighted hair and is spunky as spunk.

After her little sister was born, she asked me one day, "Mom. Did my baby sister come out of yours gina?" all I could say was a simple "Yes"
She said, "That makes me FREAK OUT!" and left the room. And I thought, that makes me freak out a little too....and giggled to myself like crazy.

I love you little one. Don't grow up too fast.

Who is this person?

Why does Rachael Ray talk like she is seconds away from crying?

AND WHERE IS MY DAMN TELEVISION REMOTE?

I must program the TV to go to sleep after Matt Lauer is done for the day.


And nothing says vacation day like being ill with some sort of stomach bug.

Is it a stay at home day, mom?

Why yes, my sweet little girls, it is a stay at home day. (Give me a hooray!)

We have no babysitter for two days, so since last week's Moab adventure was cut off completely, I took two days off to watch my babies. The older one does not find the love that I feel in calling her my baby. Mooooom, I'm not a baby!

We have lots and lots of things we need to accomplish. Returning things to stores, picking more things up from said stores, picking up a half yard of dirt and flowers, finding the husband a father's day gift (yikes), clean the house, do laundry.

And it is almost nine o'clock and one child just got up and neither of them have even had breakfast.

I was going to go for a walk/run before the husband left for work, but when he got in the shower I asked what the temperature was outside and he said Thirty Eight. Thirty Eight? Are you joking? It is June 12th for heaven's sake. Needless to say, I stayed in bed and he kissed me at 7:15 as he was leaving.

It has been an unseasonably cool spring so far and I love it. I really do. It's been a little bizzare though. We can go from having the AC on during the day and it will drop so cold as a front blows in that the heater needs to be kicked on by the early evening. Take yesterday and today for example. Highs in the low 60's...yesterday it got up to 63 for about an hour and dropped and stayed in the 50's....today should be in the mid 60's...but by Saturday and Sunday, we should be almost 90.

Just in time for a family reunion on Saturday and family over here on Sunday for Father's day....so I guess I should find something for my dad and father-in-law too. Ak! Hopefully I can get the in-laws to stay with the girls one day to save me a day in babysitter money. ha.

Not much going on. Just a long list of things I need to do. But I plan on enjoying my kids and taking it easy. In fact, it is time to get a refill on my coffee. So I am out of here.

What a week

What a difference one week can make.

Last week I enjoyed two blissful hours of watching Lost and drinking Gin.

This week, I have two poxed people and one, totally bored and strung out of her mind, three year old who had been cooped up in the house with the two sickos.

I made the husband send her to the babysitters today just so she can possibly be worn out enough to sleep tonight.

At eight o'clock last night she was running and jumping off the stairs, butt naked and roaring like a tiger. She then proceeded to do a tiger dance, a tickle-monster dance, and then the inevitable, pee and poo dance. There is nothing like the pee and poo dance. It was spectacular and deserved some sort of recognition.
I did laugh hysterically due to the sheer toddler-esce-ness of it all. Buddha belly and rotund naked butt, running around the house.

We are not going to Moab. Boo. No vacations this weekend. Boo.
S cried at the dinner table when we told her tonight that we are not going. Poor kid. She wanted to know why. Like it wasn't obvious.

This is after the husband let her take a four hour nap...which she woke up from at 5:30.
This always makes for easy bedtime routines.

I like to shake my fist in the air at that one.

Well, not much else going on....asked my boss today for a Mac. And we both laughed. He said he wanted one too. Haa haa haaa Haaaaaa

Right. I have the bottom of the line Dell that has no DVD-R. It is sad when your surf-the-web-only apple laptop is nicer than what you have at work. Not to mention the other computers at home. Oh well.

I'm off to digest dinner a little bit more so I can go have a 20 minute training session with my friend, Jillian, who is getting me some muscles and makes me sore.

Didn't we do this in the 70's?

Guess who has the pox now?

Guess! Guess!

Well, since there are only two other people in the household who have not had the pox before, one who is 37 years of late and the other 7 years, well then, I suppose it would be them. (I am stretching the true a little here, the husband, who kindly reminded me, will not be 37 until next month, and S will be 7 in 15 days)

Exactly 20 days of incubation have busted out the dreaded blistery chicken pox in one husband and one daughter. How delightful. How superbly wonderful that we are supposed to leave on a little get-away-vacation in three short days. I'm not sure if this will be happening.

The husband stayed home, as we were getting our patio truly poured today, and then I got all ill at work...the shakes, all signs pointing to food poisoning, dizzy, cramps. pale, hot/cold...sent a frantic email stating I was leaving the workplace, and drove the 12 miles home with my hand over my mouth hoping I would not actually barf in my car and chanting in my head "only 12 miles, only 12 miles".
I made it home just in time and spent a few hours on the couch, having a gurgling conversation with my stomach and reading/watching bad day time television.

Now the children are home with the neighbor kid that the mom still wants her to get the pox. Welcome to that place. They are playing Mario Kart.

Happy First Day of Summer Vacation everyone!

You talk, you fight, you win, you lose!

I have been utterly disenchanted with my children today.

I feel like the shit-hole of a mom too. Especially when the husband points out that me saying that they are really

driving me to drink/get a second job

bugging me is a (not) really great thing to say in front of said children.

He and I have not spoken in the past hour and a half.

We rarely fight. We really don't fight. We agree to disagree.

I say "We are not rewarding bad behavior with treats and Scooby-Doo-Watching" and he will turn around and say it's okay after I say no. This is a source of anger with me. I don't appreciate trying to keep control of the kids. Disciplining per se. Especially when someone is undermining everything you say.

I don't really know how to explain things, but they are not in a good place. My kids are spoiled. Rottenly spoiled, and I'm not quite sure how to try and tread backwards in trying to reverse the damage already done.
We go out for dinner tonight, and the kids think that if they behave and eat their dinner that this automatically means that they are in deservance of a treat or a toy.

Let me say, without screaming, "Are you kidding me?"
(And believe me when I say they did not behave)

When did doing what is expected of you turn into a demand for something in return?

I do not know how it happened. I'm am most certain it is my fault. I will take blame. But I MUST MUST MUST find some way of reversing this behavior.

Heaven help us all as the weekend has just begun.

It didn't help that there was a father, sans mother, who was out with FOUR children, including an infant in a carseat, and the older kids (all under the age of eight) were so well-behaved it made me want to lose my cheeseburger.

All the while my almost seven-year old was under the table picking up other peoples' trash. Yes, we do not have enough of our own trash, we need to bring more home.

Now it's been two hours since the husband and I have said anything to each other...and the last words were at high decibals (from me) and angry.

I think it's time for bed.

Pot pie? Who's got a pot pie?

I was supposed to help the husband with the moving of lawn furniture, but he has disappeared with the dog.

I had to say that I made and devoured this last night, and I have to say Thank you to Mrs. Beanpaste and her chickenpotpie. You should say that in one word.

The husband and I even split it up equally for lunch leftovers. mmmmmm

Not normally would you see the word leftover and the word husband in the same sentence, so it was truly blogworthy to note this.

Well, that's about it folks. The children are plumb tuckered out and borderline nasty, so I must go stop a Scooby-Doo fest and put them to bed before the Season Finale of Lost makes a grand premiere on my television.

Remembering the bricks

The dear husband is outside, in the pouring rain, removing the old bricks from our old garden-turned-playground. It's a little sad to see the morphing of what once was to what will be. Sad to see the hours of back-breaking, brick placing labor and the bricks that broke the leaf springs on the truck, get pried out of their resting place for the last nine years. Only to be replaced with grass.

In other news, the pox are all scabbed over and B is ready to go back to school. Hooray! There are only 4 days left of school for both girls. Yikes! That means, in three short months, S will be going into 2nd grade and B will be in year two of "preschool". That means, that in three weeks, S will be SEVEN and and two months later, B will be FOUR. How did this happen? How did my babies get to be so old? How did they get to be so sassy and argumentative? How can they be so sweet and yet so mean at the same time? Sad. I find myself pausing at their beds when I check on them before I hit the sack, and just look at their sweet little faces while they sleep. Their long eyelashes, their sweet, soft cheeks, their pouty lips, so sweet and angelic. It's a good vision to go to sleep on. In the mornings I smooch them up until they have to say "Moooom! Stop!"

The husband and I snatched some leftover sod from across the street last night. In the dark of the night, with the wheelbarrow in tow, we barreled across the street and got ourselves six rolls of sod. Bwaahaaahaaa.

Well, the husband has come back inside so I'm going to warm up the wafflemaker again and bust him out some breakfast.

I see nothing wrong with it

My glorious, wacked-out like myself, neighbor has been watching B for the past two days in hopes that my kid passes on the pox to her kids.

I love that I'm not the only one who is not counting on vaccines to determine if my kid gets into school with a government-issued fully vaccinated form.

It's been a hectic week.

I am officially the Marketing (director) (my little addition to the title) person at work. I also have no idea what to do, where to start, what buttons to push.

Delightful.

I am really looking forward to a long, memorial-day, weekend.

It will be involving lots of Gin, Wine and Beer. Maybe just a small amount of food too.

We've got Spots

My dearest three-year old, Baby-Cat-B, has the chicken pox.

What started out with two, tiny blistery bumps on her neck, have now appeared on every part of her little bhudda-bellied body.

She is perfectly fine, otherwise. She currently has a bathing suit on, and is ready for some pool action because of our hotter than normal temperatures.

S is paranoid that she shouldn't get too close to her as she will get them too. Sorry to break it to you child, but you have already been exposed before we knew this was happening, so we'll see what happens. S was exposed when she was younger and never actually "got" them. The husband has never had them either so she may be his little clone.

I'll have to say that I'm one of those wacky vaccine-freaked moms that doesn't get all the recommended vaccinations for her children. So flog me now.
But, hell, I'm not worried. I've had them. And I may even have a younger sister who can watch little B for a few days this week if the need arises.

I don't want you in the tree

Oh, the three year old that says "Mom, I want you to put me up in that big tree"...how can one deny the sweet, sticky three year old, with a ring-pop on her finger, who is very graceful and would most certainly not fall out of the tree?

Just the ring pop on her finger makes me not want to put her in the tree.

In my last rambling, I was (again) complaining about my adventures in babysitting, ahem, the supervising of ones employees. Isn't it amazing what the difference a few days can make?

Can't really speak of it in-depth quite yet as everything is not completely set in stone....but let's just say that if those crazed employees think that *I* am a bitch....well, they are about to be wickedly shocked, unbeknownst to them.


BWWWWAAAAHHHHAAAAHAAAAAAA

ahem. I will not gloat. I will not laugh. I will not sneer. I will not be ultra-excited for my new, enclosed cubicle.

Not yet.

Please, someone make them move

I have been at the computer for, honestly, four minutes. The only thing I have heard in the past four minutes is the never-ending wail of someone crying. The girls are outside playing kickball with their dad (god only knows what they are really doing) and first S, comes in the house howling, goes outside still crying...it stops momentarily, and then B is crying.

Seriously, I can only imagine the neighbors, slamming their windows that face our backyard, in pure agony of another night with the M family playing outside with all that sisterly love. The really really wonderful thing is that our closest neighbor also happens to be a case worker for the DCFS (Division of Child and Family Services), so I have to watch my screaming mouth for fear of retribution.

Work is annoying. Once I deal with one annoying employee, then there is another, and then another and I get so excited to deal with all the hormones and insecurity and complaints and UGH. Make it stop. If I am really making your life so tough, then find another damn job! Just because I expect you to come to work (if you can do that) and actually WORK, I know, it IS terribly bitchy of me to even think that you should do that whilst clocked in and getting paid.

Sigh.

I try so hard not to come home and hit the bottle during the week, and then have to deal with complete morons all day when I could be at home babysitting my own children for god's sake. They at least give me some love throughout the day after they say they hate me for making them sit and read and do their homework. At work you just get hated and backstabbed and complained about behind your back. For being so mean

I LOVE those employees.

Me! Me! Pick me!

Who can guess who is sick in *my* house again?

I don't want everyone rushing to post a guess now.

That would make me all warm inside to think that someone CARES.

The fish is still frozen

Now what the hell am I supposed to make for dinner?

Home again, home again, Jiggety jag

kiss all the girls and make them gag.

That was my family's version of that rhyme.

I am at home, with a sick B. She is snotty, coughy and still sleeping...and it's almost nine o'clock. She was up at various hours of the night, along with myself, coughing coughing. Poor baby. Or as she likes to call herself "Baby Cat" or the newest pet name "Scooby-a-Doo". It's adorable.

Donde Esta? Matt Lauer?
That is the good thing about staying home. I get to sit on the new couch, with a cup o coffee and my laptap, and the best thing of all? Matt Lauer. Meow.
That is why nothing ever got done around my house when I stayed at home. Mr. Lauer was at my beck and call for a good three hours in the morning, and I couldn't get anything accomplished with *that* around.

It is supposed to be in the high 70's today, so there will be some good, quality-cuddling-on-a-blanket in the sun, time that will happen between B and I.
The girls and I had some of that yesterday afternoon and we shared carrots with the dog. He also loves Dilly of a dip on his carrots. Just like me.

Well, there really isn't much going on. I did LOADS, honestly, loads of laundry all weekend. And it really started on Thursday night. Sheesh. Last week's camping at Moab adventure really set me up for being so far behind. 544-9566 - Rebecca. I am taking phone messages. Ha. So anyone can give her a call if they would like. If you can be the sleuth that I know most of you are, you can figure out the area code and ring ol Rebecca up.

It is now time for another cup of coffee. It's very tasty when you get to enjoy it without anyone, with the exception of Rebbeca, bothering you.

Control yourself

There are no other bloggers who have the interest of "Calling animal control on stray dogs"
What the hell?
I can't be the only one. Come on people.

Op, gotta run. The husband wants to return the large, one side of the garage consuming, cardboard and bubble wrap mess we have, back to the furniture store where it came from.

Tell me... Who doesn't find that totally attractive in a man?

By-the-way, the beta blockers for my heart issues have turned me into one, sassy mo-fo. I've got confidence coming out of various orifices.

I'm not sure if my bosses are going to like the new, sassier than before, me.

BWAAAHAAAHAAAAAA

20 minutes of kicking your ass

Today I am sore.

Last night I was tracking an amazon order which tried to politely tell me that the DVD I had ordered had been delivered....and since I hadn't gone out to the mailbox in two days, I got the husband to do it for me. And lo and behold, there was my Jillian Michaels 30 day Shred DVD. Glistening, in very difficult to remove, plastic casing.

I did the 20 minute, level one, workout and honestly, it *was* 20 minutes of kicking your ass.
It was great.
I don't think I can do it again tonight. I had all intentions of doing it, but after my walk at lunch and the screaming pain in my quads, I think I'll have to pass.

My dinner that I put in the crockpot this morning has also reached the point of no return. The chicken is shriveled and dry and looks very unappetizing. That really bites, because now what? I guess I should find out when the husband is planning on coming home. I may just make waffles since B is hooked on them, and little does she know that I make the ones out of whole-wheat...Bwaahaahaaaa. I'll get some fiber in these people, one way or another.

Tuesday Blahs

The results of the before-mentioned Holter monitor came back as "normal". In other words, I do not have any arrythmias. I do have a very fast resting heart rate though, and I started some beta-blockers to see if that can curb the pounding of the heart and the sympathetic nerve issues.

I honestly feel like some druggie.
I take my anxiety stuff and a beta blocker in the am hours, followed up by a schlew of vitamins...magnesium, zinc, c, b, cod liver oil and flaxseed oil. In the evening before bed, it's acidophilus, calcium, more flaxseed and a bit of a muscle relaxer so I can sleep without my jaw in the locked position.

Does that sound normal?

Okay, okay, I have realized that I am far from being normal, and that's okay. But lately, with all the extra meds, it makes me wary.

My newest girl at work lost her baby at 8 and 1/2 weeks and had a D & C today. I feel utterly sad for her. This is her second loss. How horrible.

I ordered her a nice flower arrangement and hope she is okay.

I got a little ornery near the end of my work-day, and it filtered into my evening and I just feel down I guess. Listened to Radiohead, the Bends, and I was just sad. Still am. Don't know why. I think I need some extra sleep tonight since I tried last night and that did not happen.

My little B looked so stinking cute today. Had on a long sleeved yellow shirt with a coralish pink shirt with a bird on it over that. And darling new shoes and a sparkle in her eye. I took some photos when I got home. We'll see when I actually download them off my camera...GEE.

Let's see....

Not really much to post about, other than the thumb-sucker has yet, another cold.

Shocking. I know.

Obviously our attempts to stop the suckage are not working too well.

I did finally get over myself and went to the doctor concerning my heart palpitations and bouncy manuvers and got set up with a 24 hour Holter Monitor. I did that yesterday and took back the device this afternoon.

I should get some feedback in a few days. I'm really trying to rule out any issues due to my previous bouts with heart problems. Things that were burnt out of my heart via ablation, tissue, is what they call it. ha. There is always a chance that said tissue can grow back. Wouldn't *that* be a treat!

Well, it is time to walk the dog. More like, jog with the dog. Who knew that a daschund would be a running companion? With those short little weiner-dog legs and all.

It's a hoot, especially him in his sweater...since it's cold, and he shivers.

Take me to the specialist

Yes, uhm, the hater of all dogs has got herself a dog.

GASP

A dog you say?

What the hell is wrong with this picture?

Oh wait. There is no picture.

Not yet.

That would mean I would have to upload all of my photos since December 24th.
And I do not have the time nor the energy to do such a thing.
And I do not want to walk two rooms to the kitchen to retrieve my camera.

L.A.Z.Y.


(The Specialist won't hurt me,
She's not like the nuns.
She's got a lot of pain pills,
I think I'll take some yellow ones.)

What to sample next?

My thumb sucker...aka the sampler of bathroom stall doors, is turning into a holy terror.

I told a friend of mine about her licking the window at REI on Saturday and got peals of laughter in response.

I can laugh too, the child is a riot...but she is killing me! She is sick again! and again and again, and spent time in the naughty corner during dinner and just ripped off two, luscious sprigs from my favorite plant! The husband is sending her to the naughty corner....

Oh my hell.

Grant me the sanity to survive this child.

She told me from the back seat of the car on the way home from school that her mouth tasted yucky.
I asked her if it was because she just had chocolate and then some goldfish?

She politely informed me that the reason her mouth tasted yucky was because her new shoe tasted yucky, and apparently, when you get new shoes, you also need to put them in your mouth to sample their lovely flavor.

Bret Michaels...WTF?

Due to the fact that I get free television watching at home...the husband and I have come across part II of the Bret Michaels search for slut-love.

OMG, this is the WORST show I have EVER SEEN. Would you be so proud of your daughter, on TV, vying to be the biggest slut-whore on the face of the planet? For *Bret Michaels* of all people.

How old and washed up is this person? (very)

I'm watching it again in my hotel room. It's entirely stupidity at its finest.

At least when I am home, someone in the 'hood fastforwards through the commercials which are at least TOLERABLE compared to this stupid show.

I spent the day in a conference room, with lots of treats and drinks and lunch and a superb dinner with an open bar and two gin and tonic's in my belly.
And I was depressed by the tour of the facilities of the insurance building I spent the day at. No fighting for parking, no ugly stepchildren in the corner packed in their cubicles like sardines. (Stinky sardines in the 95* temperature during the summer with a broken airconditioner)

Oh no! This building has an on-site gym, with a POOL, and a basketball court, an optical center where you get FREE eye exams and eyeglasses every two years, an on-site health/nurse facility, a salon, a dry cleaning service, a place to drop off your CAR for an oil change, a tire change and a car wash if you get these done, a cafeteria...that seats appx 600 people, ice machines, LOADS of microwaves that didn't come from a pawn shop, newspaper vending machines with the New York Times and other various papers to choose from, actual conference rooms with functional TABLES, they get fresh AIR pumped into the building every SIX minutes...What else? My hell, just when you think they couldn't show you more, there was yet another floor to show, no fights for parking spaces...people who spoke so highly of their place of employment.

SIGH

It was depressing.

When we got to the bar, someone asked me how I liked the tour. I said "If you are trying to recruite me, you are doing a fabulous job."

They thought that was HILARIOUS.
If they only knew.

Well, I actually get to sleep in a little tomorrow before I trek back to the airport, so I've packed my 5 beers in my luggage..wrapped in socks and one handtowel that I, uhm, aquired from the hotel...hopefully they don't miss it...because I didn't have to pack a lot of clothes, and heaven forbid I break a beer.
I used to do this all the time...bring back a 12 pack of beer from Chicago, when I was traveling a lot, and there was never an issue...but this was before 2001....so we'll see what happens.
I've had two gin and tonics, so I'm not needing anything else tonight. Just something to relax me to sleep so I don't hear the "I think there is a rodent in my room" noise that I heard last night.

I get to go back to work on Thursday. I am not excited. I have not missed my department at ALL.

I've missed a few people...my oatmeal run in the morning person, and that's about it. My home premium-chicken-strip.

My stupid attorney called the husband on Monday night too, and confused the crap out of him, since he talks a load of shit all the time, and the phone in my room SUCKS, since you can't hear me, even though I am YELLING. So I guess we'll talk about it tomorrow.

Until next time.
Adios

By the way, did I happen to mention that we purchased a 4-Runner? Well, we did. And my typing sucks completely, so I'm out.

Happy Birthday, from Wisconsin

That is what my sorry-ass texted my brother earlier. It's a classic family-that-I'm-from way to say Happy Birthday since I'm a slacker that couldn't SEND you a birthday card, but could remember to TEXT you in-between connecting flights to Wisconsin....
yaaaahhhhhhh

I am currently sitting on a King-Sized bed in the very freaking cold state of Wisconsin. It's COLD dammit.

I spent the majority of my day in an airplane and/or in an airport. So I went out to dinner and got a chimichanga at some off-the-wall restaurant, and it was amazing, with a somewhat co-worker of mine, and then went to get some beer.

I walked around in awe at the *refrigerated* beer selection (which in Utah, you do not get) so I was like a kid in a candy store...then I get back to my room and realize I have purchased 6 beers that require a bottle opener to open.

Most of our luggage does have a bottle opener since we have, many times, come across this predicament, but alas, my luggage does not have one. I, amazed myself, by wrenching a lid off a bottle by using the door jam thingee to the bathroom and popped one off. (Without damaging anything in the process) Yay for me!

So between the lovely time change and flying to a different time zone change, I am screwed up. More than usual. My body feels like it is only 7:25.... and in the state I am in tonight, it is currently 9:25. THAT SUCKS!

I have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn tomorrow to go to a conference..fit in breakfast...getting dressed..opening my eyes...when it will feel like so many hours, two to be exact, before my body wants to get up.

I am certain that the beer and the muscle relaxer and the hot shower I just took will make it extra easy to get up in the morning.

Well, it is about time to dry my hair (so I can sleep in a little bit later) and try to ease into a sleep that will most likely be interrupted by slamming doors, mysterious loud arguments in the middle of the night in the hallways, and, of course, the upstairs neighbors' toilets flushing throughout the night. Oh yes, can't forget about the loud heater turning on which lets you remember that it is still in the room with you.

I miss my kids and the husband.

I miss my debit card that I forgot to grab from the ATM when I got cash yesterday.

Can I give her back?

Can one get a refund on their child? I know I KNOW. I can hear the gasps and grumbling, but I have been having some real issues with one 6 year old.

She has been so ultimately sassy and just plain HORRIBLE the past few days..mainly, the past three, that I am at my wits end.

She was awful all weekend. Even the husband was frustrated and upset with her. And it takes a lot to ruffle his feathers when it comes to his little girls.

Then I go to pick her up after school today. Which I do not do often, mind you, so I reminded her over and over that I would be picking her up, where to be..blahblahblabblaaaaa....and I wait. 5 minutes pass.....10 minutes pass....14 minutes pass and a car comes into the otherwise empty drop off/pick up area, and who else is in her car, but the very 6 year old I am waiting, somewhat frazzled, for.

AUUUURRRRRGGGGGHHHHH

I was calm. Bless my heart, I was calm. I explained to her that I was waiting for her and WHY did she decide to get in someone elses car? WHY, pray tell, did you get in someone elses car when you KNEW I WOULD BE THERE?
So we come home and I send her upstairs to potty it up and wash her hands while I call the husband and close myself in the laundry room.
So instead of us going out to the library to spend some mother/daughter time together....we go pick up the little sister and go to the health food store when the 6 year old proceeds to squish empty gel capsules when I tell her repeatedly to PUT THEM BACK in my best shush-scream..and then she antagonizes the 3 year old by squeezing her arms, making her fall, running around the very small aisles....all in a matter of us being in the store for less than 60 seconds.
SIGH. SIGH....sigh
So, I sit the 6 year old on a small stool and say "Don't move your butt from this seat until we are ready to go"
We have been dealing with her having fear issues at night and turning all her damn lights on and I was going to look through a quick homeopathic book to see what something said about this. I open the page to the index and I hear a CRASH.....and see a bottle fall off the shelf...and two workers come around the corner...and I'm thinking, oh she drops a bottle and how did it make that sound? Well, they pull the damn FIRE EXTIUNGUISHER from the side of the 6 year old and ask her if she is okay. I go over and ask her if she was messing with it to make it fall and they want to make sure she didn't get hit by it and if she's okay. She says she okay and she didn't do anything.
Riiiight
So I grab both girls' hands at this point and throw us in line, utterly PISSED by this point. Buy my acidophilus and leave.
I guess she pushed her head up against it and it fell off the hook. My hell. I swear.

So I sent her straight to her room to do homework and reading and the husband and I are having a very serious discussion with her tonight.

Let me tell you that most of our *serious* discussions end up with her covering her ears and yelling at us.

We are doomed.

Well, it is time to make dinner. I am starving, absolutely famished.
Last week at work was horrendous due to my sicko, call in sick sick sicko, worked a big, whopping 3 hours total last week.
I've had it with her. No more Mrs. nice boss from me. The stick falls here.

I also have to fly to Wisconsin for business next week for a whirlwind trip that involves one whole day of a conference.
Yay.

Shut your eyes! Oh my gosh, Shut your eyes!

I love, absolutely adore, the notion of getting on demand television for free just because we have an HD TV.

What horrifies me, and just did, is that we just went from harmless Tom and Jerry cartoons to PORN, in the shower, two girls, moaning, my god, PORN, my babies....AURGH

You have never seen me move faster.

It was a from-the-bottom-of-the-shower shot, but the chick had undies on, but my god, PORN.

It is SIX O'CLOCK ON A FRIDAY EVENING. WHO IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD, FULL OF ULTRA-RELIGIOUS PEOPLE, IS WATCHING PORN?

Most evenings it is channel after channel of kids' cartoons.

Luckily, I found Spongebob as quick as could be. Whew.

Oh no. Now I'll get tagged on googled porn hits.
Thank god there are probably 4 billion porn sites on the internet and I will be on page 5,969 (haha) and I will not be found.

Well, enough of this, it's time to stop stealing the neighbor's bandwidth because mine is screwed at the moment, and go put a pizza in.

Thank you brother

It seems as all my latest posts have something to do about being sick, or in pain.

Wow! Aren't I a load of fun?

I did wake up in the middle of the night in the vice-grip of clenching as I was testing a night without a muscle relaxer. I now know what will happen. I have proceeded to dose myself tonight. It's only 1/4th of a pill, so nothing extreme. It's enough to keep me sane I suppose.

I have to shout out and thank my brother, who I know is not reading this, for sending me loads of music. He is a dear. He is a computer demon and can get me any music my little heart desires.

He recently sent me all the old Depeche albums....that I have, personally, owned twice and don't have now. And he sent Vampire Weekend and Remi Nicole. The latter is the better so far.

In other happenings, there is not much happening.

I'm trying to self-diagnose my red blotching issues...and it seems as though I'm nerotic.

It actually is a symptom that corellates with the heart and the sympathetic nerve. Who knew there was something called the sympathetic nerve. It sounds so forced. (Oh, my sympathetic nerve!)
I'm taking extra magnesium as low levels can actually mimic severe anxiety induced stroke-like symptoms...which sent my grandmother to the ER at the end of the summer....which also led me to go see a Doc. about anxiety.

If my vitamin cocktail does not suffice, I will then go to el doctor to talk about beta blockers. I have a quite fast, resting heart rate (90's) and a history of heart problems...that were previously fixed, per se, so this could be an underlying issue.

I would just like to try and figure out the problem I have. It's very embarrassing and frustrating. It also makes me feel like I don't have control (which I guess, when it happens, I don't) and I don't like to not be in control.
I had two episodes last week that left me feeling so angry at my stupid body...came home and googled *red blotchy neck* and found a long message board in regards to this and actually teared up just because I am not alone with this problem. I'm certainly not careening with the majority of people here, but definately not alone.

It is currently 9:01 and this mama is determined to go to bed a little close to on time. I am tired and I need my busy-brain to give me a rest also.

Who to hire...

I need a hitman...and I need one now.

A hitman to not neccessarily take the life of another....just to break the kneecaps of one, useless attorney, who will not return my nagging emails or answer his phone.

I SWEAR!!!!!

You are getting exactly 30% of whatever the stupid insurance people pay out. The least you could do is reply to my email.
I don't care if all you say is "Kiss my ass". At least REPLY.

I'm really not too upset about it at the moment, just irritated as hell.
I am done. Done. Done. Done. And all I am in the mood to do now is settle and move on. Live with endless pain and get this over with.
Is that really too much for one to ask for?

Well, it is now time for a three-person game of Duck Duck Goose with two, sweet girls who ate all their dinner...and I think I have started to digest, so a little jaunt around the front room won't kill me or make me throw up.

To call or not to call

I keep having this nagging in my head to call someone....a nagging pain that is centralized in my left jaw joint...now who to call for this? Oh gee...could it be...hot doctor?
I guess I feel funny about calling him that now...since I found out a little background on him...married, children, went to Iraq as a doctor during the summer..ran into him as I guess one of his kids goes to B's school. Yeah, he's a little humanized now. Hopefully that will take away the red flush I get when I go see him.

I *need * to call him, but honestly I guess I am afraid to call him.
The reason why you ask? Well, since the pain is back, with a vengeance, and he said he was okay with my range of motion in the opening of the mouth, and if it does click, that is usually okay...a lot of people's jaw joints pop. But once the pain is there, well, then there is an issue.

I did the jaw lavage the end of August..had about two weeks of healing pain then about a month of no pain whatsoever. Enough time for me to go back to him to say it felt great, enough time for him to write a report to my attorney that things were okay and then time for the pain to return.

I suppose he could do the lavage again, but usually the next step is something more invasive. Surgically opening the joint and manually placing the displaced joint back to the correct place it is supposed to rest. But the problem with this type of surgery is that you usually end up with worse pain than before due to the risk of further damaging things.

Let me tell you a word of wisdom, folks. Do NOT ever break your jaw. Don't even think of doing it. I cringe during every movie and tv show scene that depicts someone getting punched in the jaw. That has to break it I am sure. (not in the movies, of course) but that would be the end result I am sure of it.

Pain. Chronic pain. Long, suffering, I can't open my mouth wide enough to fit around this junior cheeseburger pain.
Just a little Waaaaaaah from me.

Okay, I'm done with that.

Now the searing question is... How in the HELL do people find enough time in their day to be all on top of a blog? Posting photos and html links? AND cook? And take care of their family? How, DAMMMIT, how?
I'm multi-tasking right now. Laptop, banking, watching Lost, doing laundry, putting clean sheets on beds during commercials, thinking about picking up the magazines in the family room, wondering how the hell I'm going to finish off the rest of the work week after losing one person (her last day today, boo!) and one on vacation and then training a new person come Monday.

I am also breaking a resolution by drinking a fine glass of Pinot Noir.

Kick it

The bottomless pit

The bottemless pit in our house is also lovingly know as B's stomach.

I swear to you, internet stalkers, if I have to buy any longer pajamas, jeans and shirts that will cover up one three-year old's budda belly, I may sigh a very big sigh.

She will eat dinner, and then say "I is hungry, I needs a snack" and she proceeds to eat an apple, a bowl of crackers, toast, applesauce and yogurt...and even then, she would probably shove more in if one would just provide it to her.

We also see a lot of baby-butt-crack in our house. I think this is a combination of the above-mentioned budda belly and the somewhat lower rise of children's pants. I've told this story to some...but we were in Target and she was crouching on the front end under the plastic part of the cart, lodging herself between the plastic and the metal---put your soda here---base of the cart...with her bottom sticking out towards the front of the cart...towards the oncoming traffic of others in Target. After I saw a glance and giggle towards that area, I speed up in front of the husband to check her out and she is totally butt-cracked out.
It was hilarious, it really was....totally gross, but somewhat sweet because is was a cute little blondie and not an overweight plumber (no offense! You know the stereotype) or worse yet, a thonged soul with a muffin top.

I would have giggled if I had seen it coming towards me too.

She keeps me laughing in many ways. Crying inside too, that is for sure.

This is the child that I have had to call poison control on since she decided to sample a sample pack of "barkeepers friend" Some toxic powdered cleanser.
I have had *her* dial 911 successfully and had to call them off after they called ME letting me know there was a call just placed from our number. (SIGH!)
She crawls on top of the refrigerator to get anything related to sugar. And has gotten so sneaky, that if she can't get it open with her teeth...then she is well prepared with a pair of scissors to open that sugar.
Believe me, I HIDE scissors non-stop and she can still find them! I don't know how, I don't know where half of them even come from, but I find them in her little hands far too often.
She used to pull the charger cord out of the baby monitor and touch it to her tounge. I had the husband check and see if he got himself a volt or two from it, and sure enough, he did. And she did this more than once!
She is a sneaky little three-year old. In fact, I sometimes forget she is only three due to the smartness level she demonstrates. Or at least she attempts to lead me away from the trouble she has gotten in to in the corner by the couch.

"What are you doing B?"
"Nopping!"
Which definitely means something. And something bad.

She has learned how to write the letter B and is getting the rest of her name down too, so we find the letter B on random items throughout the house.

I guess it is time to hide all writing utensils too.

If I had just started the night there......

How do I love thee, couch? Let me count the ways.

I have now slept on the couch 6 days out of the last 7. It's getting to be quite the little comfort zone for me and my cough.
And notice how close in spelling couch and cough are. Coincidence? I'd like to say no.

I should have just started out on the couch last night. Instead, I took narcotic cough medicine (add that to my list, thank you doctor for prescribing it), a muscle relaxer...to help kick in the *sleeping* part of the medicine which had kept me awake, hallucinating, the night before, was comfy in my BED and almost asleep...but then I had a husband next to me, reading....awake...with his light on...until almost eleven....and I'm tired DAMMIT. I have clocked in 6 hours of sleep in the past 3 days and TIRED...and he keeps me UP and turns in to immediately fall into his "falling-asleep-jerks" And *I* start coughing....fitful coughing and pissed because he has messed up my notion of actually getting some sleep.
So I storm off with S's princess blanket to my friend, the couch. And he wants to know why I'm leaving.
Because you have hindered my sleep, that's why!
And I was an ornery beast most of the day. Not really to anyone at work, other than telling them to, point blank, "Shut up" and "You are a Slut" But that all goes with the territory, and it was all in fun. But ornery inside and annoyed and Raaawr!

I told my boss on the way out (late) that I was starting to feel neglected and we are 0 for 2 on our "bi-monthly meetings"
This is after I get called into big bosses office to go over a letter in response to some ridiculous complaint from one of our insureds. After they get our response and see what a total PITA this insured was, they had better send us a box of cookies for our pain and suffering and an apology.

Well, my orney ass is going to wrap this up and get on with what's for dinner and start this weekend.
Let's hope for some non-couch sleeping this weekend.